Here I am almost five years later and I am still dealing with cancer. I certainly didn’t expect this to be the life I’d be living—dealing with multiple recurring tumors that give me intense pain some days. Locally advance cancer they call it. I can’t even find anyone on the Internet with my same situation. I pride myself on being unique but this is one situation where I would love to be boring.
I often have people say that I have a wonderful attitude. Part of it is that they don’t see in my dark time, alone, often late at night, sleepless, wondering about my future. Or times when my emotions hit me out of nowhere. I watched my daughter’s fifth grade graduation and suddenly burst into tears, crying out in my heart “Please, God, let me be alive to see her high school graduation!”
But I do think I have a good attitude. It really isn’t me after all; God gives me the strength and courage to face tomorrow with hope and a bright outlook. I truly believe that “ I can do all this through him who gives me strength. “ (Phil. 4:13).
But having that hope does take faith. Faith, after all, is ”confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” (Heb. 1:1) I don’t always see that hope, I don’t always feel Gods love. But I know that it is there.
That is the root of blooming where you are planted. The first step, the only essential step, is to believe, no matter what, that God still loves you. We are told we are going to have trouble in this world. It is just a reality, a by-product of having a heartbeat. But we have a life because God loves us. Having problems, suffering, doesn’t mean God doesn’t love us. Suffering is just an opportunity for us to grow and to feel God’s loving arms around us. When life is going fine I have a tendency to chug along, not paying attention to God’s presence. But in times of suffering I can feel him there and see evidence of him working. That is a blessing, my friend.
As long as you understand and believe that God loves you then you can have the strength to get through anything. In your darkest moments just repeat “God loves me.” Breathe it in, breathe it out. Live it. Hear it in your heartbeat. Plant it in the ground and watch it bloom.
1 John 4:8New International Version (NIV)8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.