Here I am almost five years later and I am still dealing
with cancer. I certainly didn’t expect
this to be the life I’d be living—dealing with multiple recurring tumors that
give me intense pain some days. Locally advance cancer they call it. I can’t even find anyone on the Internet with
my same situation. I pride myself on
being unique but this is one situation where I would love to be boring.
I often have people say that I have a wonderful
attitude. Part of it is that they don’t
see in my dark time, alone, often late at night, sleepless, wondering about my
future. Or times when my emotions hit me
out of nowhere. I watched my daughter’s
fifth grade graduation and suddenly burst into tears, crying out in my heart
“Please, God, let me be alive to see her high school graduation!”
But I do think I have a good attitude. It really isn’t me after all; God gives me
the strength and courage to face tomorrow with hope and a bright outlook. I truly believe that “ I can do all this through him
who gives me strength. “ (Phil. 4:13).
But
having that hope does take faith. Faith,
after all, is ”confidence in what we
hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” (Heb. 1:1) I don’t always see
that hope, I don’t always feel Gods love.
But I know that it is there.
That is the root of blooming where you
are planted. The first step, the only essential
step, is to believe, no matter what, that God still loves you. We are told we are going to have trouble in
this world. It is just a reality, a
by-product of having a heartbeat. But we have a life because God loves us. Having problems, suffering, doesn’t mean God
doesn’t love us. Suffering is just an
opportunity for us to grow and to feel God’s loving arms around us. When life is going fine I have a tendency to
chug along, not paying attention to God’s presence. But in times of suffering I can feel him
there and see evidence of him working. That is a blessing, my friend.
As long as you understand and believe
that God loves you then you can have the strength to get through anything. In your darkest moments just repeat “God
loves me.” Breathe it in, breathe it
out. Live it. Hear it in your heartbeat. Plant it in the ground and watch it bloom.
1 John 4:8New International Version (NIV)
8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.