Sometimes blooming isn't pretty. Scientists have uncovered evidence that the first flowers had no colorful petals. Buds when they are small are tiny and less than spectacular. Although not a gardener, I have heard that sometimes it is necessary to wait until the bulb leaves turn brown and wither so you can cut them off to make room for the flowers.
Sometimes trusting God doesn't look pretty either. It is not without crying and pleading and a fair amount of fear. But if you are lucky then those buds will turn brown and wither and make way for blossoms. That takes time however.
I remember the night before I was diagnosed. The doctor had called to say that I could come in any time and she would adjust her schedule to fit mine. Yep, I was pretty sure it was cancer. I was full of fear and crying. My husband got a little angry (which I'm sure was the fear talking) and said "Don't you trust God?" I don't remember what I said in reply but it probably wasn't pretty. But later I thought that trusting God and crying are not mutually exclusive.
Just look at the Psalms. The psalms are full of the gamut of emotions--crying, pleading, worry, anger,you name it. God is big enough to take our human weaknesses and help us deal with them. We need to come to him honestly and openly with all our doubts and fears. Lay them on his alter, sacrifice the need to wallow and allow him to heal the brokenness of our hearts. In time he can take those fears and exchange them for his hope and strength. For in our weakness he is strong. Sometimes our circumstances collapse us under their weight and we fall to our knees which is exactly where God wants us. That is when he can work his miracles.
No trusting God isn't always pretty--yet. Blooming where you are planted takes time. We water the buds with our tears. We need to let our fears wither so they can be removed to make room for the flowers. Trust God, let him be your strength. The blooms will come in the dawning light of his love.
Psalm 55: 22-23
Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you;
he will never let
the righteous be shaken. . .
But as for me, I trust in you.