What We Can Learn from Bees

I am deathly afraid of bees.  I’m not sure why, having never been bitten.  The mere hint of the presence of one puts me into a tizzy.  I’m sure that half the fear is that I have built up the pain in my head.  The fear either freezes or makes me run away.

Emotional pain is like that too.  You build it up in your head so that the mere hint that it might be coming makes you frightened.  It isn’t the pain, however, that makes us freeze or run away.  It is the fear.   If we would be still and calm, we might escape the pain altogether.  We certainly build up the idea of pain in our heads, to the point that the fear is most assuredly worse than the pain itself. 

Philippians 4:6 ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

That got me thinking that there are other lessons I can learn from the bee.  Though fearsome, bees are very useful creatures.  The pollen they spread produces growth.  Pain too produces growth.  Like pollen, the growth from pain isn’t automatic.  You have to do something with it—process it, see what you can learn from it.  If it just sits there as you are praying for it to end, pain will not produce any growth.

Romans 5:3-4 also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Bees also produce honey.   Pain can produce a sweet joy in life in feeling the real presence of God in your life and his comfort.  Bees return laden with nectar in sacs—to the point that they waddle around with the burden.  “The worker bee returning to the hive with a load of nectar is almost immediately greeted by other workers ready to relieve her of the load”  (“How do Bees Make Honey?”).  We too are social creatures who should immediately come to our fellow workers aid, and with the load lightened, the work of turning pain into sweet honey can begin.

Galatians 6: 2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

“Nectar returned to the hive at this point is barely recognizable as honey,” being mostly water  (“How do Bees Make Honey?”).  The bee must add the enzymes from their own bodies, allowing the water to be evaporated, leaving behind the honey.  We too must add to the pain—we can add more pain, or we can add from our own deep sense of who God is, as revealed by the word and by our experience of His love, and the Holy Spirit that lives in a believer’s heart. Adding His love to pain produces the sweet victory that allows up to rise up out of our circumstances into the loving presence of God.

Psalm 119:103 How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!

All this takes time.  We must trust God that he knows what he is doing.  If you are heavy laden with the pain that you have begged God to free you from, trust that he must still want you to learn from it.  Unload some of it on your fellow workers and go to the work of turning the pain to honey. 

Romans 8:28²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[a] have been called according to his purpose.

“How do Bees Make Honey?”  Beeswax  Co. LLC. Online. 11 Oct 2012

 

Trust the Driver

As a mom, I do a lot of driving around town, especially now that my daughters go to three different schools.  I am always amazed that my kids, who are 9,7, and 5, will question my driving.  I will hear “why are we going this way, Mommy?  I want to go that way.”  “Go faster, Mommy” and “We are going the wrong way.”  Talk about back seat driving in the worst way!  Is there such thing as car seat driving?  I keep telling them to trust me, that I know where we are going, and I know the best way to get there.

It is annoying, but aren’t we the same way with God? We too try to tell Him where we want to go. We urge him to go faster.  We question the direction He is leading us.

The truth is that we don’t really know how to drive.  We have limited vision and don’t know where we are headed.  We want to take the wheel when the truth is we don’ t know what is best.  Who are we to question the omniscient, all-powerful creator of all time and space?

We just need to sit back and trust that God knows where we are headed and the best way to get there.  We will encounter some roadblocks a long the way, likely causing us to question His path for us.  But he put those roadblocks there to protect us.  To make us turn around and go down a better path—the best path--a route that will get us to our destination at just the right time. 

But what is our destination?  Remember that I said that we don’t know where we are headed?  We often loose sight of our ultimate destination in favor of the pit stops along the way.  Maybe we think, “I just need to get over this illness” or “My kids just need to grow up and move out.”  With these pit stops as our destinations we are apt to take what we think is the quickest route.  But God always has our ultimate destination in mind---to give him glory by becoming more like Him.

We were created in the image of God, but we because of our nature we continually fall short of that image.  Our final destination is to become more like Christ.  The only way that it can happen is if we trust God with our path.  We may question the purpose of certain circumstances in our life, but that is because we don’t understand how it can work for our good.  We see only that the circumstances are in our way preventing us from reaching what we believe is our destination.  But God know our ultimate destination, and the best way to get there.

I’m thinking of the life of Abraham.  There he was prospering when God suddenly told him to pick up and move.  God didn’t even tell him where he was going, just that He would show him and bless him.  Abraham had to trust God with his path and his destination.   Along the way, he experienced many roadblocks and occasionally questioned God’s leading.  He even tried to take the wheel a couple of times.  Ultimately, as God proved Himself a faithful, loving God, Abraham came to a place where he was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice—his son.  God had led him down a path where he had become more like God—who also made the ultimate sacrifice of his Son.

I have my dark moments where I question this disease and I just call out to God “heal me—but go faster!”  But I need to trust that there is a purpose for all of this and that God will deliver me to my destination safe and sound.  This illness is simply just a roadblock.  Because I trust the driver, I can have beautiful moments of pure bliss--wind in my hair, sun on my face, perfectly content.

So sit back, relax and enjoy the ride!

Romans 8:28

New International Version (NIV)

²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[a] have been called according to his purpose.

Hope Springs Eternal

I love the beginning of the school year. Fresh starts and new school supplies abound. Hope is in the air. I wish that hope was accompanied by cooler weather and the coloring of the leaves but alas I live in Vegas where it is 95 degrees at 8:00 in the morning and Palm trees and mesquite remain pretty much the same. Where there are three seasons-- pleasant, bearable, and Hell.


I wish too that I was starting fresh. That I was done with treatment and facing the excitement and hope that comes with new beginnings. But no, I'm still facing weekly chemotherapy with no end in sight. It seems like everybody else has something to look forward to -- a new baby, a trip, a new home. No, Hope in not in the air for me; I can't just breath it in as easily as I would take a breath. It is more elusive.


And yet, I still have hope because it is in Christ. Rom 5:4-5 says that perseverance develops character, character, hope. Hope is a matter of character that doesn't fluctuate due to circumstance. Hope isn't looking forward to events in your life, but a joy that looks forward to the good that God can make come from the worst of situations. Hope is not happiness in what is "happening" but a true joy in the Lord. That joy is not without tears; the difference is that when your hope is in the Lord those tears are not wasted. They don't just go down the sewer but soak into the soil of our heart and produce growth. Without hope, tears are wasted.


I don't have an end in sight with chemotherapy, but hope is being sure of what we don't see (Heb. 11:1). I don't see all the good God can make come from this ugly disease.  I must trust because I know God. I look at my circumstances through the eyes of God. I don't look at God through my circumstances because that would distort his image. Instead I focus on God alone.


So for now I will hope in the Lord. I will continue on my journey that is not without tears, knowing God will use them to water the garden of my soul.



A word study of hope:

The word hope is mentioned directly 166 times in 158 verses

The book that mentions the word hope most (besides Psalms) is Job (16 times).  Job certainly didn't have the best circumstances.

Most of the new testament (outside of the gospels) is attributed to Paul.  He mentions hope 70 times.  Have you read what happened to him?  Read 2 Cor 11:23-28 just to name a few trials.

Rom 4:18 Abraham hoped didn't see realization

Rom 15:4 we can have hope through endurance and the encouragement of scriptureRom 15:12 We serve the God of Hope

Eph. 1:18 open the eyes of your heart to know the hope to which he has called you

Eph. 4:4 We have one hope

1 Tim 6:17-- we are not to hope in riches

Heb 6:17-18  God makes the unchanging nature of his purpose clear so that we that have hope may be encouraged

Heb 6:19 hope is an anchor for the soul, firm and secure

1 Peter 1:3 through the resurrection of Christ, we are born to a living hope

1 pet 3:15 believers should always be prepared to give a reason for the hope

1 John 3:3 hope purifies

Romans 8:24-25  24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

Not Wasting the Water

Earlier this week I wrote about the storms of life. It is funny that storms involve a lot of water, but you can hardly call them refreshing. In order to bloom, however, you do need water, but a soft, gentle rain or a bubbling spring is best for that. Often after a storm the water runs off and you are left with the dry cracked earth of the desert. So what then?

Sometimes God is gracious and provides us a season of rest after the storm or more often small breaks, or breathers as I like to call them, even in the midst of longer storms. But if we aren't careful we could use these breaks as an excuse to rest on our laurels, as though we are “entitled” to these moments.

I went through this a couple of years ago. I had gone through chemo, lumpectomy and then radiation and, though I was still getting herceptin, it was only short trips to the chemo chair every few weeks and seemed like nothing compared to what I had gone through in the last year. I thought the cancer was gone and that I was finally able to rest. The problem is that I decided that was a rest from everything—my household duties, my health (eating right and excercising), and most appaling of all, my prayer life and quiet time with the Lord. By doing this, I actually was self imposing desert living. I grew complacent and distant from God and as a consequence was not growing.

I had a rather jarring wake up call when friends had to confront me with the knowledge that I was neglecting my children to the point that the day care had mentioned calling CPS. Thank goodness that never happened. I could have wallowed, put up a fight exclaiming “but look what I have gone through?” or “why aren't you accusing Brian of the same things?” O.K. I did a fair amount of this at first. But then I woke up and confronted myself and it drew me closer to God as I prayed about what I needed to do. First things first is that I had to get back to the Word and use it to water my soul back to green. I also reflected on how God's goodness had gotten me that far. Finally the brown, cracked earth of my heart began to come back to life.

Think about the Isrealites. They went from having too much water when they were threatened by the Red Sea, to grumbling about being thirsty to the point of death. Maybe if they had reflected on God's goodness in saving them out of Egypt, they would have realized that God was not going to let them go. God provides what we need, if we rely on him for the giving.

That is the key to bringing the refreshment of water back to the desert moments in our life. Go to the true source of the Living Water—Christ's love as reflected in the Bible and in our own life through his loving provision. Spend time in prayer and in the Word even if it feels strange at first, like you are going through the motions. The pump needs to be primed a bit before the water begins to flow. That isn't any fault of God's though, but a by product of our neglect. Look over your life and record even the smallest of merciful moments where Christ's love brought you through the storms of your life. Then watch how God brings you back to life again. And don't forget to reflect and record that blooming.

We don't have to wait for rest to bring the Living Water into our lives. We need to stay in the Word while we are going through the storms. In doing so we are catching the rain water so it can do good to our souls, rather than running out into the gutters of life. We should reflect on and record the littlest provisions, the strength and peace God provides through it all. Then maybe we can experience more of the gentle waters of the cool garden and less of the cracked earth of the desert. Then when we are given rest, it won't be wasted, but will be times of true blooming.

Psalm 1:2-4

New International Version (NIV)

2 but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
    and who meditates on his law day and night.
3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
    which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
    whatever they do prospers.

John 7:37-39

New International Version (NIV)

37 On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. 38 Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.”

Calm vs. Peace

I am definitely in a stormy period in my life. It may not be a full out tornado, but it is a steady down pour with the occasional squall. The squalls usually involved my children. They are no respecters of my disease. They still act like willful children. Yesterday I was in charge of children's church. It went fine except for my two littlest ones—they int interrupted me every five seconds, whining and crying about some such matter. I finally had to drag them (literally) out to their father, them screaming all the while. What a nightmare!

Here I was serving God and this happens. I often find myself wishing things would go smoother, especially on the days of my treatment. Is it too much to ask that my children get ready without struggle, that my house be clean and in order, that my appliances and car work without fail? Yes, it is.

God never says life will be without storms. He just promises that He will be there to help us weather them. Sometimes God calms the storms and I am forever grateful for the rest that provides, but sometimes He lets the winds roar and we just have to trust Him.

I can think of several instances in the Bible involving storms and the disciples.

One is in Mark 4. This time everyone was in the boat, including Jesus when

37 [a] furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. 38 Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?"
39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
40 He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

This time he calmed the storm. What a wonderful relief to the disciples. Perhaps Jesus sensed their fragile faith couldn't take too much of the wind, but he still needed to teach them to trust Him. Sometimes our storms are short lived, but there is still a lesson to be learned, a lesson to take into the next storm that may last longer.

Another is in Matthew 14. This is the one where Peter walks on water. The wind is buffeting the boat when Jesus came to them:

27 But Jesus immediately said to them: 'Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid."
28 "Lord, if it’s you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
29 "Come," he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God.”

Notice that Jesus didn't calm the storm until Peter had walked out to Him. He may not have lasted long above water, but he did show faith and courage as long as he kept his eyes on Jesus and not the storm. No matter how long the storm, we too must keep our eyes on Jesus and not our circumstances.

Finally in John 6 there is a storm and Jesus walks out to the disciples whose boat was in rough waters. Jesus says, 

“It is I; don’t be afraid." 21 Then they were willing to take him into the boat, and immediately the boat reached the shore where they were heading.

Notice that it never said that he calmed the storm. Perhaps even when they reached the shore safely, the storm still raged. Who knows how long the storm lasted, but Jesus still got them to where they needed to go and He does the same for us.

All three (and many others) have one thing in common—Jesus urged his followers to not be afraid. This is the key between calm and true peace. The truth is that only storms bring growth. It was only in the storms that our faith is tested and we are able to walk on water. But we can still have peace amidst the buffeting if we take courage, resist fear, keep our eyes on Jesus. Then our hearts will have clear skies while outside the wind roars.

Or in my case, my children scream :-)

Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation —
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?

Answers or Beauty?

In light of the Colorado theatre shooting, I am struck with how terrible things happen to people everyday. I am sure that there are many that are asking “why?” and “how can a loving God do such a thing?” These are vital questions that everyone must answer. Myself, I answered them long ago and though I could talk about the reasons, I don't want to right now. The bottom line is that I have faith and I know my God and I don't define my God by what happens to me; I define what happens to me by knowing God. You can ask yourself “Why?” all eternity long about the bad things that happen to you, but you will only kill your spirit, draining yourself of the strength to face another day.

So I choose to focus on the positive. For example, the story of Petra Anderson, who survived a shot in the head because of a brain defect she had had since birth though she had no idea of it. She had a channel of fluid that ran from the front of her brain to the back and the bullet happened to follow that channel so as to not damage the vital parts of her brain. That is certainly not a coincidence. God had prepared her from birth to get through this incident. What she does with that from now on will be the true miracle.

I can look back and see that God prepared me for breast cancer. Eleven months prior to my diagnosis, I got a wonderful job from home that has allowed me to keep up with working all through my treatments. I didn't opt for medical coverage when I was hired, but was urged to seek double coverage at the time of diagnosis. Since k12 had grown so much (in a recession no less :-) they were switching everyone over to a new insurance and so I was able to get coverage with no pre-existing condition exclusion and my doctors were in the network. From the people he has surrounded me with, to the knowledge of Him in which I was firmly planted, God has lovingly provided me with all I need to get through this part of my life. Not just to survive, but to proclaim his glory through it all.

Our lives are a mosaic lovingly arranged by God. Our hearts are delicate pieces of glass that God breaks apart and it may seem like random shattering. But he picks up each piece in his loving hands and adds his own pieces and makes a beautiful masterpiece. Unlike a jigsaw puzzle, we can't see the picture that He is making and the finished product isn't always recognizable. In fact, I don't think the masterpiece of our lives is ever really finished. Sometimes you have to step back to see the beauty in the shattered pieces, but it's there. You can look for answers or you can look for beauty, but strength comes from beauty.

Psalm 22: 9 Yet you brought me out of the womb;
you made me trust in you, even at my mother’s breast.
10 From birth I was cast on you;
from my mother’s womb you have been my God.

A Light Upon my Path

I went to the doctor yesterday before getting my weekly chemo. He said that my labs look good and that the CAT scan is clear. He is very pleased on how well the drugs are working and how well I am handling the Chemo. I pressed him about how long I will have to keep up the weekly chemo. He didn't want to use the word “indefinitely” but he did say it is not unheard of patients being on these type of drugs for two years! The thing is, he explained, is this is a brand new drug that is doing its job so he doesn't want to stop prematurely and then have the cancer come back. There is a lot of hope in what he said, but the thought of two more years of this is just disheartening to say the least. I am tolerating the medicine rather well, but that doesn't mean that it is easy, by no means. And just the time it takes and how tired I am afterwards—my Thursdays are pretty much shot.

I am trying to stay on the bright side, as difficult as that is. I am trying to look at this as a chronic condition, like lupus or diabetes. These drugs are doing a good job managing my disease, but aren't without their inconveniences and side effects. Like some chronic illnesses, there is a chance that I will go into remission and be able to get off the drugs. But in the mean time they are necessary and just part of my life.

So, as always, I need to trust my future to God. I posted a couple of weeks ago: “We want answers to our questions because sometimes they are easier to trust than God. -- Beth Booram”
Lord, help me to trust you when answers are hard to come by. I would so much like the doctor to say I am done with this and be able to move on from this facet of my life. But there are obviously lessons I still need to learn, places I still need to grow. The Lord knows what he is doing.

My new obsession is the song “Better than I” from the movie Joseph, King of Dream. It is so beautiful! It expresses exactly how we are to react when our future is not certain.

If this has been a test,
I cannot see the reason.
But maybe knowing I don't know
Is part of getting through.

I try to do what's best,
And faith has made it easy,
To see the best thing I can do
I Is put my trust in You.

For You know better than I,
You know the way.
I've let go the need the need to know why,
For You know better than I.

Joseph must have felt similar to me when he faced all that time in prison. He found himself in a situation he never expected to be in, he didn't want and with no end in sight. He had to trust that God knows what he is doing and he has a plan and a purpose in all of his sufferings. God gives us glimpses of His plan as wonderful gifts to keep us going (like days I get to encourage my fellow chemo buddies) but for the most part we just need to trust him. Like a lantern to our path, God reveals just enough ahead of us to keep us going. If we saw the whole path, who is to say we wouldn't just freak and run away or freeze our movements altogether. Who is to say we would even understand it. If we knew the whole plan then we wouldn't have to trust God and have faith that everything will work out for His Glory and our good.

So here I am, trusting God with my future. I am to move ahead on my path, praising God and serving him in all that I do, holding the lantern of God's word and the Holy Spirit ahead of me, putting one foot before the other, trusting God with the darkness.

Isaiah 42:16
I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.